If the queen had wheels, she'd be a truck

This drawing illustrates the expression If the queen had wheels, she'd be a truck. My college pal Delia used this expression; she learned it from her little brother William, who lived in Jamaica, Queens at the time.

Just in case you are dying to use this expression in every day speech, here are some examples of correct usage.

Remark: If only I had invested in real estate 10 years ago. I'd be a rich woman today. Response: If the queen had wheels, she'd be a truck.

Remark: If only Al Gore had won Florida in 2000. We wouldn't be in the mess we are in today. Response: If the queen had wheels, she'd be a truck.

Remark: Why did I ever let myself gain 20 pounds? Weight is so hard to loose. If only I had said no to all those snacks. Response: If the queen had wheels, she'd be a truck.

Actually, I've never heard anyone use this expression other than Delia and William. But I have always liked it. It says "face reality, dude" in an attention-getting way. Have you ever heard this expression?

On another note, giving an inanimate object human qualities is hard. After drawing this picture, I have a new respect for the illustrators of Thomas the Tank Engine, Disney's Beauty and The Beast (all of those dancing household objects!), and The Brave Little Toaster movies.